Team Us: Marriage Together (Giveaway Time!)

team us: marriage together
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How do you fight? Not brawling on the streets, but with your spouse– ya know, “conflict resolution”.

Clint and I used to be terrible fighters, there was fighting but not as much resolving. In the beginning of our marriage, there was lots of screaming and it always ended with Clint angry and me wanting to ignore the situation before anything was resolved. We both believe we’ve gotten better at fighting.

In Ashleigh Slater’s book Team Us: Marriage Together she talks about two different approaches to conflict resolution: the “me-first” and the “team-first” mentalities.

Just to give a few examples:

ME-FIRST would be a need to be right and disregarding your spouse’s perspective on the issue.

TEAM-FIRST  would be giving up the need to be right and instead having a desire to understand your spouse’s perspective on the issue.

Of these two, I definitely think Clint and I have learned to employ more of the team-first than the me-first. Sometimes when we argue, it turns into a really long conversation of us just trying to understand where the other is coming from and clarifying clarifying clarifying until we completely understand. Honestly, sometimes we realize we both think or feel the same way, we’re just so different that we explain things differently.

I recently read Ashleigh’s book and enjoyed it. She uses several real-life examples from her own marriage and examples from marriages of her friends written by each of them, for each of the 10 chapters. I always love examples in marriage books because it affirms that you know what the author is talking about.

At the end of each chapter, are questions that you can either answer alone or with your spouse for some discussion to get you thinking. There are also several snippets in each chapter from Ashleigh’s husband.

The entire focus of the book is how to approach marriage as a team. A good team, one that works together to win! Ashleigh offers several strategies throughout the book that she and her husband use in their own marriage that have helped them build a stronger marriage. The book is a fairly quick read and the chapters are the perfect length to read a chapter before bed each night and discuss with your spouse.

And just in time for Valentine’s Day, I also have a copy to give away to one of you! Just scroll to the bottom to enter the giveaway.

Do you and your husband view marriage as a “team”? 

About the book:

What are you agreeing to when you say “I do”? When a couple promises “I do,” they agree to more than just a shared last name, a joint bank account, and no more dateless nights. This husband and wife duo forms a new team. “Life together” becomes their mantra. Nothing can come between them. At least, that’s the plan. But then real life sets in. With it come disappointments and frustrations. If the couple isn’t intentional in their day-to-day interactions, that once enthusiastic “we” can slowly revert to “you” and “me.” Before long, the couple’s left wondering what happened to their team spirit. 
Team Us: Marriage Together offers couples practical ways to cultivate and strengthen unity in their marriages. Author Ashleigh Slater shares from her own marriage as she presents couples with realistic ideas on how to foster cooperation, deepen commitment, and exercise grace on a daily basis.
You can also get more info here:
Check out the book trailer HERE & hear from Ashleigh Slater HERE.
 
Check out Ashleigh’s blog HERE
 
Check out the official website HERE 

a Rafflecopter giveaway
 Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

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What’s Your Love Language?

What Your Love Language?
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Marriage is hard. And wonderful. And frustrating. And such a blessing.

After dating for 2.5 years, Clint and I tied the knot on June 14, 2008, at our church. We were married by our previous pastor, Brother Garland, who had been called to another church a few months before. During our premarital counseling, he gave us a copy of [amazon-product region=”us” text=”The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” type=”text”]B0032CVAQQ[/amazon-product] written by Gary Chapman and stressed to us how important he thought it was that we read it.

We did read through it before the wedding, but it was sort of a rush through. Our relationship had been extremely easy until that point. Yes, those 2.5 years had been a long-distance relationship, but we seriously rocked the long-distance.. if that’s possible? I didn’t get the pre-wedding jitters, I knew without a doubt that this was the man God intended for me and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I wasn’t sure if I wanted children or not, but we would figure that out later.

clint sara 8-10-07

Our first year of marriage, well- it was tough! It was difficult to get used to being around each other all.the.time. Like I said, we only saw each other every other weekend and during school breaks while we were dating/engaged, so this was a major adjustment for us. Things definitely smoothed out around the second year though. But around that time, I decided that we should continually try to better our relationship. I started buying marriage books and devotionals here and there for us to read through together.

One book I got was [amazon-product region=”us” text=”The 4 Seasons of Marriage: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage” type=”text”]B007V698DG[/amazon-product], also written by Gary Chapman. When we got it and I looked through it, I decided we should read through [amazon-product region=”us” text=”The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” type=”text”]0802473156[/amazon-product] again and it was such an eye opener this time around. Gary Chapman includes personal stories of others, which I find really interesting. It was fun to read through and go, “Oh yeah, that’s definitely you!”

Clint and Sara August 2013

I think it’s extremely important to learn each other’s love language, though- and what it takes to keep each other’s love tank full. Clint’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation, followed by Quality Time. Mine are Acts of Service and then Physical Touch. We are complete opposites, always have been. 🙂

If I didn’t know and focus on Clint’s love language, I would probably show my love by doing the things for him that make me feel loved. I mean, it’s great if I get up on Saturday morning and cook him breakfast or hold his hand when we’re out and about, but neither of those things are going to make him feel loved the way me thanking him for something he does around the house or just hanging out on the couch watching a movie with him does.

[amazon-product region=”us” text=”The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” type=”text”]0802473156[/amazon-product]is definitely a book that I would recommend to any couple, newlywed or in their 25th year of marriage. Have you read it? Do you speak your spouse’s love language in order to make them feel loved?