Marriage is hard. And wonderful. And frustrating. And such a blessing.
After dating for 2.5 years, Clint and I tied the knot on June 14, 2008, at our church. We were married by our previous pastor, Brother Garland, who had been called to another church a few months before. During our premarital counseling, he gave us a copy of [amazon-product region=”us” text=”The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” type=”text”]B0032CVAQQ[/amazon-product] written by Gary Chapman and stressed to us how important he thought it was that we read it.
We did read through it before the wedding, but it was sort of a rush through. Our relationship had been extremely easy until that point. Yes, those 2.5 years had been a long-distance relationship, but we seriously rocked the long-distance.. if that’s possible? I didn’t get the pre-wedding jitters, I knew without a doubt that this was the man God intended for me and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I wasn’t sure if I wanted children or not, but we would figure that out later.
Our first year of marriage, well- it was tough! It was difficult to get used to being around each other all.the.time. Like I said, we only saw each other every other weekend and during school breaks while we were dating/engaged, so this was a major adjustment for us. Things definitely smoothed out around the second year though. But around that time, I decided that we should continually try to better our relationship. I started buying marriage books and devotionals here and there for us to read through together.
One book I got was [amazon-product region=”us” text=”The 4 Seasons of Marriage: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage” type=”text”]B007V698DG[/amazon-product], also written by Gary Chapman. When we got it and I looked through it, I decided we should read through [amazon-product region=”us” text=”The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” type=”text”]0802473156[/amazon-product] again and it was such an eye opener this time around. Gary Chapman includes personal stories of others, which I find really interesting. It was fun to read through and go, “Oh yeah, that’s definitely you!”
I think it’s extremely important to learn each other’s love language, though- and what it takes to keep each other’s love tank full. Clint’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation, followed by Quality Time. Mine are Acts of Service and then Physical Touch. We are complete opposites, always have been. 🙂
If I didn’t know and focus on Clint’s love language, I would probably show my love by doing the things for him that make me feel loved. I mean, it’s great if I get up on Saturday morning and cook him breakfast or hold his hand when we’re out and about, but neither of those things are going to make him feel loved the way me thanking him for something he does around the house or just hanging out on the couch watching a movie with him does.
[amazon-product region=”us” text=”The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” type=”text”]0802473156[/amazon-product]is definitely a book that I would recommend to any couple, newlywed or in their 25th year of marriage. Have you read it? Do you speak your spouse’s love language in order to make them feel loved?